on 10th Apr, 7.41PM. He was pissed because he mistook the text I sent him. I did not even explain myself and I just apologised to him. He left me hanging till the next day, and I texted him 20 hours later asking him if he is okay. His reply was cold and distant; “i’m okay and we are cool.” I immediately cried and I was at work because how can a person, who said they like you and just leave you hanging even though they already feel better? When I told him how I felt, and I even reacted like we were together which was a mistake. He asked to meet after work. I rejected because I would cry in front of him. I told him we could meet tomorrow (11th Apr) after work instead and he even made me promised him but he told me he was busy on the day itself.

I left him alone since then and when Saturday (15th Apr) came, I cried because I missed him so much that he just stop texting me completely. I called him but he did not pick up my calls, I texted him that I missed him a lot.

..because I love you. I really do. When you asked me in the car did I fall for you deeper. I do. I really do. I wanted more than just being your friend. I want to hold you when you are down. I want to catch you when you fall. And that night, i couldn’t take my eyes off you, like you were a dream come true, but i couldn’t say a word…. I felt so safe when you I am with you like, you can conquer the world with me. So, can you please let me see you?

and his reply was just heartbreaking. He also said we will meet for lunch during weekdays and I made him promise it but it didn’t happen. I waited and nothing happened. I stopped texting him the whole week and yesterday I asked “Hey, how are you?” because I was starting to worry for him again. His reply was “hey! I am good!” which is a good thing right? I texted back, “it is good to hear that you are doing good. Have a good weekend!”. He didn’t text me back.

I dreamt of him consecutively for 5 days straight and this morning dream was he died and each time I woke up crying and falling back to sleep, the same dream happened again. It happened for a total of 3 times. When i woke up, i cried some more and i made a choice to not want to feel this way anymore.


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