Went to the library on Friday to return and borrow some books. I borrowed 6 city guides, New York City and San Fran. i read a little and it seems interesting. i wanted to sit down one weekend to read and plan everything. Perhaps next Sunday? I just found out that National Geographic print city guides as well. Not that I heading to Germany, but the one that NatGeo published on Germany was more engaging. tbh, i think read city guide seems like a good idea. i might want to pick up reading city guide some day.

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Went back to work on Saturday morning bc it was required. I took the opportunity to went back earlier to print out some Computer Science notes. And yes, i’m taking introductory online lesson on CS, to see if i can keep up with the interest. Then in then evening, my brother and i went to a symphony concert together. it has been a while since we watched the symphony concert together. the thing i really liked about the concert was that, it was harry potter. the concept of the concert was pretty brilliant; playing along with the movie screening at the back. It was harry potter and the philosopher’s stone. it was both my brother and my first experience of such concert. the conductor was so engaging and the audiences was cheering and laughing. Basically it is not a typical concert. i really enjoyed myself and it was really nice of my brother to treat me. He then went again on Sunday with his friend. I want to put up any ticket stubs that i have in here (:

Slept in on Sunday. I started a timetable. Something that i thought about it since last week. I wanted to get things done and i think having a schedule will help me through it. Not sure how it will turn out, good i hope. I started reading a new novel, When We Collided by Emery Lord. one quarter into it and i am enjoying it. Then watched 3 episodes of The American then rewatched the movie SALTΒ before heading the bed.

26/6/17 DAY 4

woke up at 6.15am to catch sunrise at the rooftop pool. Swam 500m and i was yawning half of the time. At about 9am we went down to mac for takeaway and booked a 12.15pm movie; the transformers (the last knight) at the nearby cinema. We ate mac on bed and FOX movie was showing the movie – the stand off. we then napped for 30 minutes and checked out at 12pm. Stored our bag with at the hotel lobby and after the movie we headed back home at about 3.30pm. I watched ghost adventures and fell asleep at about 6.30pm until the next morning.

25/6/17 DAY 3

woke up about 11am, went straight to Sentosa despite dark clouds were looming at our area. Took the skyride and luge, it was so fun riding the luge. The distance was a little short for the ride. And the queue for luge was moving like a snail. Half of the time queuing, i was laughing at how stupid tourist can look some times. We completely forgot that it was Sunday and everywhere was packed with tourist. Stayed at the beach for about 3 hours, letting the afternoon not-so-hot sun soaked our skin and headed back at about 8pm. Wanted to cycle in the night around town but we were both so tired that we thought we should head back early and watch FOX movie channel to end the night. I crashed at about 2am and Alex earlier. We slept with the curtain open wide. ❀

24/6/17 DAY 2

woke up at 1.30pm, headed to ArtScience Museum for two of its exhibitions, HUMAN+ and the universe science and art. I would say HUMAN+ is more worth in the sense that targets a lot of future creativity and its upcoming global issues and possibly ethical issues. Feels like bioengineering industry is the main focus of the whole exhibitions, ranging from prosthetic to designing art through sounds waves to robots to manipulation of genes to bioengineer babies to cybernetic. I was equally fascinated and disgusted with one of section that were shown in there; The harlequin coat by Orlan’s. Literally bringing art and science together, multiculturalism and cell culturing. By using cells from different ethnic origins/species and artist’s cell to form a coat – a representation of cross breeding thus, multiculturalism. Neil Harrison (sonochromatic head) and Moon Ribas (seismic arm) case was one of the section that interest me as well, both of them are cyborgs that make use of machine to help them communicate via sensation and perception.

The universe and art exhibition was a little disappointing IMO, i thought it would be mind blowing but it wasn’t. As the title says, it brings space/cosmology and art together. I like the idea how they slowly they introduced us how art was influenced by it. From different religions teachings, such as it scriptures and artefacts then to scientists and astronomers then to exploring works by contemporary artist/photographers. The exhibitions was dimmed with low lights and no flash was allowed throughout the exhibtion. There was this one art in particular that i was drawn to it-an artist work (couldn’t remember its name) using wax. I was standing really close to the art piece and questioning how the artwork was done. At about 7pm we were done, and it was a coincidence that there was National Day rehearsal so we managed to catch fireworks at about 8pm. Took the cab to Miramar hotel for Japanese Buffet. then headed back to the hotel at about 9pm for a swim and quick gym. We stargazed at the rooftop garden until 1am, showered and crash at about 3am.

23/6/17 DAY 1


met Alex and her sister (Tessa) at the hotel lobby, checked in at 6.15pm. they took a quick shower while, i was enthralled with the city view from our room, level 23. we were quite disappointed with the size of our room. We went up to the rooftop pool and garden for a smoke at level 29, and the view was even more fascinating compared to the room’s view. Met up with Sam (Tessa’s bf) and Joo (Tessa’s bf friend) at lobby and all of us headed for dinner at somerset maccha house. Had Mentaiko Udon, maccha tea (w/o sugar & milk) and maccha tiramisu. the tiramisu was a little too thick for me and mentaiko udon is always the best! yummy. After that, we headed back to the hotel for drinking game. And Geraldine (tessa’s bff) joined us. Geraldine had a little too much to drink for about an hour into it, she cried and she kind of ruined the night a little for all of us but the rest said that that wasn’t her extreme. >:O I felt a little tipsy but it was just right amount of liquor. also, i drunk text two of colleagues to tell them how much i appreciate them both. haha! anw, we ended drinking night at 12am, they headed home. Both alex and i walked around town for a little and found ourselves sitting at the swing talking about life. Crashed the bed at about 4am.


so he unfollowed me on IG. not just me but the rest of the colleagues as well, even blocked us. not sure when was it but i found out yesterday. it feels like we are ‘officially’ strangers. A lot went through my mind since last night. i would love to say that i am not affected by it, i am but not greatly because it used to meant something. The crazy thing is that, in the past when he told me the stories about how people did him wrong, was he telling the truth? or was he exaggerating the whole situation? or did they really did him so wrong? or was it just him? I talked it out with the ones that i’m closer to at work. when i finally let the cat out, i somehow feel relief because i am able to hear the other side of the story.

i am really glad what happen happened. it made me realized how lucky was it for me to escape this friendship/relationship and i believe for him as well. We are a recipe for disaster and, one of my friends said i will be walking on the egg shells if we were to be exclusive. I told everyone around me, especially my mum how nice was he and unexpectedly he turn out to be the worst; this is a tragedy and i am really sorry, mum!Β And sure, it was hurtful and depressing-at the beginning but now it is purely disappointment.

Staycation for 4 days 3 nights starting from today. & this happened just on time. i’m feeling really good about this. =3


i simply lost interest in writing; including writing short notes on my phone daily. i stopped reading as well. I am still stuck at reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – Mark Manson. I do not know how to articulate my thoughts, express my feelings in words and even justify the arguments i had in my head. it felt like a mess; everything is a mess. When i started typing, i couldn’t find the right reason to complete that one sentence and out of the sudden, i feel nausea. I stopped writing altogether and i wondered why? Could there be a trigger? If so, what was it? Was it the news i received about my ex got married? Or am i frustrated with life in general? Could it be everything just snowballed itself? and now, experiencing burnout not only with issues that happened/is happening but with work as well?

19th May 2016, 6:34PM : Remember this feeling
11th August 2016, 7:31PM : Empty trains are scary
12th August 2016, 8:08PM : I realised how much i do not want to associate myself with that kind of man, no matter how much love i have for him.
26th August 2016, 7:33AM : Last night was the first time he did not text goodnight before going to bed.
9th September 2016, 7:23PM : I do not usually ask you for anything, but just this one time I wanted you to do something when I asked you to and sadly, you disappoint me.
21st January 2017, 11:37PM : Today is the day I feel different about you.
2nd May 2017, 7:42AM : I could have waited, but I don’t know what was I waiting for. You stopped talking like I meant nothing. Losing you was the hardest part for me, the worse thing was that you weren’t mine in the first place.
4th May 2017, 11.46PM : and again I thought about how we ended up nowhere. Did he woke up and decided not to talk to me or perhaps even stop loving me?
21st May 2017, 3:15AM : Could it be i am too comfortable? I need to move away from this comfort zone
8th June 2017, 8:02AM : Maybe the thing I need now is to be with myself and not be with someone.

today when i went through the notes I wrote on my phone and i can literally remember every single one of them; where i wrote them and how i feel at that exact moment. how funny i just stop writing in-between Sept 2016 and Jan 2017, also in-between Jan and May 2017. I would want to have that habit to write in my phone more often.

oh well, at least there was one good thing that happened, my grandma did not move out and she started talking to us. Everything that happened with her is back to normal which i am grateful for. Bc i hated how i felt about myself, how alone she was and hurting everyone around her.

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J and S

this was last Saturday, i couldn’t even remember when was the last time we did a video call together. felt like years and as always, i really enjoy talking to them. Technology made everything so easy isn’t it? I can’t wait for the both of them to be back home.

This coming Monday is a public holiday, so there’s long weekend for me. Both Alex and I booked a luxury hotel in town for this weekend staycation. I am so excited for it.